I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
