oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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