In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
