the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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