I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Farmville is her only friend.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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