Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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