What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
