ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
