he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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