Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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