It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
