it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
