some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
