PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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