you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
