hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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