OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
