Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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