Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
smell my finger.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize