ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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