I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
