well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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