____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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