If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize