don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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