nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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