I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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