Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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