its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hippo gnu deer
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
