She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
