There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
