Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
