no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
