I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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