I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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