Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
PANTIES FOUND
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