Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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