So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Everclear isn't food dammit
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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