hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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