Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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