I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
