You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
