Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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