No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
