I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
