She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
