If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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