Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
kristin has been a bad kristin
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
