I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
