He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
