I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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