So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
