So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
