So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
