You just made me feel so damn special
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
