If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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