I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
