my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
