you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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