No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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