that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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