Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
