College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
