His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
