I just threw up on my dentist
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize