Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
only if we run a train.
done.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize